Woke Teachers Want to Cancel Shakespeare?!
(And More CRAZY News Stories)
In far-left-lunacy news, a group of teachers say they want Shakespeare cut from their curriculum due to supposed racist views in his writing. Asked to comment, the superintendent said "Methinks the teachers doth protest too much."
Listen up, carnivores. The meat wars seem to be escalating, because TikTokers are taunting Vegans by finding out where they're protesting and meeting up to eat KFC in front of them. Turns out, jokes on them because KFC is 25% cardboard and 75% beak.
In Greece, a man known as Prince Midnight has constructed a functioning guitar from the skeleton of his dead uncle, who wanted his bones put to good use. Asked what he likes to play on his skeleton-guitar, the man said, "Mostly the Grateful Dead."
In Florida, a man arrested for indecent exposure told police that he was "protesting for civil rights by showing his penis to traffic". Wow, that guy's a regular Martin Luther Shwing Jr. I guess that explains his speech "I have a wet dream."
Finally, in Colorado, a 95-year-old resident of an assisted living facility has been accused of shooting and killing a maintenance worker. The judge said "for punishment, you will serve a life sentence" and the man said "pfff, that's all?"