In Peru, archaeologists found the remains of a teenage girl who hunted big game 9,000 years ago, upending the myth that only men were hunters. Apparently the biggest game she hunted was jumbo-size Jenga.
In India, the forest service found a rare albino turtle that looks like melted American cheese. Come on, he doesn't look that much like American cheese. OK, now I see it.
NASA has discovered a bizarre molten planet with a lava ocean, supersonic winds, and rocky rain. Oh I'm getting an update: the researchers say it's an alternate dimension where Trump won reelection.
Walmart is laying off shelf-scanning robots, because humans do the job better. Great, now on top of everything else, I have to worry about the robot unemployment rate.