Waffle House Releases Bacon-Infused Beer!
(And Other HOLIDAY News)
In supermarket news, grocery chain Giant Food is apologizing for their tone-deaf advertising pitch: "Hosting? Plan a super spread." But I'm not sure their new slogan is any better: "Come on down, we've got millions of cases... of beer!"
Fast food lovers, this is for you. KFC Is giving away free containers of gravy with any order until January. Chipotle is also doing a Thanksgiving promotion-- they've lowered the price of a side of guac to only $55!
Here's something cute. In New York, a tiny owl was saved after getting stuck in the Rockefeller Center tree, which many are calling "a Christmas miracle". But it turns out, the owl was actually evicted because rent in a New York City tree is just too damn high.
Good news, kids: Dr. Fauci says Santa Claus is immune to COVID-19. Oh, I'm getting an update... Santa has just died from Ebola. Thanks, Obama.
Here's one for the alcoholic in your life: Waffle House is officially releasing a bacon-infused beer. It comes in two flavors: Swine-eken, and Ham-Adams. And don't worry jews, they've got gefilte fish beer coming this passover.
Party people, listen up: New Orleans has bad news for Fat Tuesday hopefuls: Mardi Gras 2021 has been cancelled. Those who were planning to attend are encouraged to flash each other at home
Bonus story: Firefighters are now successfully using lasers to control lightning strikes and prevent wildfires. I guess that explains Smokey the Bear's new Slogan: "Remember, only cutting-edge state-of-the-art laser-guided climate-altering-technology can prevent forest fires. And.... maybe you."