Vaccine Made from Shark Livers? Let's Talk Coronavirus! (6 News Jokes)

Also Sizzler bankruptcy, Halloween tricks, and Uber for Evictions.

TRANSCRIPT:

Due to the pandemic, Sizzler has filed for bankruptcy, which has spooked the entire buffet-style restaurant industry. Olive Garden is even changing the "all you can eat breadsticks" to "all you can eat breadstick".

A man in Michigan figured out a way to celebrate Halloween while everyone is social distancing, by building a zipline ghost who brings you candy and beer. That is so cool. If anyone calls the ghostbusters about this… you're a total dick.

Due to people staying home, the U.S. adult obesity rate is now 42 percent, the highest ever recorded. The silver lining is that if the US ever gets invaded, we're all in tip-top shape to fight the enemy, sumo style.

Coronavirus has caused many evictions, and there's now a startup called Civvl, which is basically an Uber for eviction. My question is, do you get to rate your eviction? I give this eviction 5 stars. The guy booted my ass right outta there. Didn't even have time to grab my clothes!

The coronavirus vaccine could result in half a million shark deaths since a key ingredient is harvested from their livers. Um… while they're at it, maybe they can look for something else inside sharks that's a vaccine against... sharks? Trump heard about this and said "Hey, as long as it's Great and White, I'm in!"

Bonus story! A man in Missouri has been charged with assault after a cop broke his hand on the guy's face. Wow, in this case the system AND the hands are broken.