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Undercover Santa and Elf Snag Perps?!

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Undercover Santa and Elf Snag Perps?!

(And Other CRAZY News Stories)

Geoff Plitt
Dec 20, 2020
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Undercover Santa and Elf Snag Perps?!

whatyouneedtoknow.substack.com

This is cute. In Alabama, a dog that was missing for three weeks wandered into a Walmart store and found her owner working at a checkout lane. After a beautiful session of tail-wagging and face-licking, the dog said "OK but seriously, I need a price check on this chew toy".

QAnon conspiracy theorist and Infowars host DeAnna Lorraine says she'll refuse the Covid-19 vaccine "even if Jesus takes it". Asked "but what if Q takes it?" She said "well, then I would, sure".

Here's something scary. In Connecticut, a mall Santa is facing felony charges after allegedly exposing himself to a co-worker. Apparently a complaint was filed after an elf got poked in the eye. In his defense, the Santa said he was just showing his holiday spirit after decking his balls with boughs of holly.

This is great. In California, an undercover Santa Claus and elf pounced on suspected thieves, with Santa tackling one suspect while the elf held another at gunpoint. I guess the perps forgot to ask "Are you the real Santa? You have to tell me if you're not the real Santa."

Listen up, food and alcohol lovers. According to a new study, consuming wine and cheese may reduce cognitive decline. However, as soon as you switch the combination to beer and cheese, it... has the opposite effect.

Finally, after 51 years, the Zodiac killer's cypher has been solved by an online codebreaker. Once decrypted, the final message said "I'm Ted Cruz and I approve this message".

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Undercover Santa and Elf Snag Perps?!

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