Tucker Carlson's Meltdown About the Derek Chauvin Guilty Verdict
(And More POLITICS News)
Well, the Senate passed the COVID-19 Hate Crimes Act to combat hate crimes against Asian Americans by a vote of 94-1. The lone "no" vote was Josh Hawley, surprise surprise. My team found a fortune cookie Josh got at a Chinese restaurant the next day, and it said "You have no lucky numbers. Also you just ate poison."
Tucker Carlson had a complete meltdown when his guest agreed with the Derek Chauvin guilty verdict. I'll bet when Tucker watches The Dark Knight he thinks Batman is the bad guy. I think he and the Joker would really get along.
In crazy libertarian news, Senator Rand Paul says "If you want more people to get vaccinated, Joe Biden should go on national TV, take his mask off and burn it." I like that idea Rand, but only if we can burn it using your hair curlers.
In Trump family news, sources say Don Jr. has emerged as his dad's top advisor. Not to be outdone, Eric Trump has proudly announced that he found a Blue's Clue!
This one makes me smile. The city of Albuquerque has referred an unpaid bill for Donald Trump’s reelection campaign to a debt collection agency. Don't worry Trump, I'm sure they'll assign you a kind, understanding debt collection officer.
Here's something disgusting. Tucker Carlson's college yearbook revelaed he was a member of the Dan White Society, Dan White being the man who killed gay civil rights icon Harvey Milk. Tucker appeased critics by saying "Hey, I was a young man back then. Don't worry, I'm way more prejudiced now."
Finally, this is amazing. MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell was in the middle of a telethon to launch his free-speech platform when he was tricked into thinking Donald Trump was on the phone. Wow, that was even more uncomfortable than his pillows. What a complete idiot. Hello? Joe Biden?? You're a big fan of my TikToks? What do you mean can you hear me now? Oh Goddammit.