Trump Wants to Kiss Everyone? Let's Talk About the President! (5 News Jokes)

It's the home stretch for the election, and Trump has turned all dials to 11. At his first rally after recovering from coronavirus, Trump seemed to be full of affection. "I want to kiss everyone. He later clarified "By everyone, I meant except Melania".

I hope these rallies might make Trump feel good, because they're doing nothing for his chances of winning. At a maskless rally in Iowa, the Trump campaign played a very strange song choice: Phil Collins "In the Air Tonight". I hope they followed it up with Alanis Morissette's "Ironic".

During Trump's town hall this week, the strangest thing happened: a woman called him handsome. The woman was immediately contacted by her optometrist for an emergency eye appointment.

For Trump, social media is a blessing and a curse. Twitter flagged a Trump tweet where he claimed he was immune to the virus. Apparently, before the campaign manager could stop him, Trump said "Trust me, I never get anything twice!"

Finally, if you're sick of Trump, don't worry-- he has plenty of family members to make fun of. Eric Trump went on live television and made a complete fool of himself saying repeatedly that his father had been cured by a vaccine while at Walter Reed. You know it's bad when you're part of the Trump family and you're still known as "the crazy one".