Trump Tells Staff to Prepare for a Second Term!

(And More TRUMP News Jokes)

Unless you live under a rock, you probably know Trump is still claiming he won the election. Despite Donald's clear electoral defeat, White House staff have been instructed to start preparing for a second Trump term. And if it's anything like how they prepared for his first term, that means... zero preparation.

Governor Cuomo is insisting on an independent scientific review of vaccine trial data before trusting it, so Trump is now threatening to withhold the vaccine from New York. After thinking about it, Cuomo said "Let's make a deal: you give us the vaccine, we give you DeBlasio."

Everybody's wondering what Trump will do after he leaves office. The popular far-right Newsmax media company says they're ready to offer Trump his own TV show. According to my sources, the format is a game show, where Trump interrupts every contestant, and then steals their winnings at the end. It's called "Deal or No Art of the Deal".

Did you guys catch this? The Million Maga March in D.C. only had several thousand show up. Maybe the other 900-something-thousand went to Freedom Plaza Total Landscaping.

Finally, angered by having their lies and fake news posts censored on Twitter, Trump supporters are switching to a new platform called Parler. If you don't know anything about Parler, it's just like Twitter except your posts get flagged if they *dont* have a conspiracy theory.