The Rock Endorsed Biden? Let's Talk Politics! (5 News Jokes)
Also naked ballots, ranked-choice voting, and a supermarket karen destroying wine.
TRANSCRIPT:
Ruth Bader Ginsburg is lying in state at the capitol, and her personal trainer honored her by doing 3 push-ups in front of her casket. It's not the first or last time a personal trainer will make me cry like a baby. Before leaving, he whispered "May God rest her swole."
Washington is obsessed with ballots. The White House is asking Pennsylvania election officials to throw out mailed ballots that arrive without inner secrecy envelopes, also known as "naked ballots". Not for election integrity concerns, but just to avoid arousing Mike Pence.
Maine will be the first state ever to use ranked choice voting in a presidential election, which allows you to pick a third party candidate or whoever you want, without wasting your ballot. Already leading in the polls is a hot fresh Maine lobster roll. Mmm mmm. You got my vote.
Everyone's getting political. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson has now endorsed Joe Biden. It's especially painful for the Trump campaign, as some on the inside are calling it a new Rock Bottom.
Bonus story! A "supermarket Karen" was arrested for smashing tons of wine bottles all over the floor in a tantrum over mask-wearing. Since the bottles were all two-buck-chuck, restitution will be in the dozens of dollars.