Ted Nugent Gets Coronavirus "I Thought I Was Going to Die"

(And More CRAZY News Stories)

In pandemic news, Coronavirus is reaching new heights, literally, as new cases are popping up on Mount Everest. Climbing enthusiasts say climbing Mount Everest with COVID is the new Mount Everest.

Here's something helpful. Neighborhood community app "Nextdoor" says they'll now alert a user if what they’re about to post is racist. That story one more time: there hasn't been a single post on NextDoor for weeks.

In case you missed it, the Mormon Church has excommunicated a sex therapist who told her fellow Mormons that same-sex marriage, masturbation, and pornography are OK. The head of the church said "We will never allow these unholy kinks to spread in our community. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to put on my magic underwear and get to a polygamy party".

Did you guys catch this? Ted Nugent, who said COVID-19 "is not a real pandemic", posted a video saying he got it-- bad. In a related story, I think I've finally found my favorite Ted Talk!

Finally, after threatening President Biden to "not cross his red lines", Putin has pulled back troops from the Ukraine Border. He now says if we cross one more red line, he'll pull back his shirt from his nipple border.