In Giuliani news, Rudy is in big legal trouble, and is apparently so desperate for money, he's shrinking his "entourage". Oh no! That makes me sad. His entourage was my favorite TV show.
This is great. John Cox, a Republican running to replace Gavin Newsom in the California recall, is complaining that his publicity stunt of using a live 1000-lb bear is only getting media coverage "for the bear". Mr. Cox later said in a statement "I'm asking people to stop focusing on the furry bear and start focusing on Cox. Get to know the Cox. Get up close and personal with the Cox. Why are you guys laughing? And why do people keep yelling at me "You suck, cox!"?
Here's something irresponsible. Florida governor Ron DeSantis has decided to ignore the CDC and suspend all of the state's emergency COVID safety protocols. This is shocking. Florida has safety protocols?
Did you guys catch this? The CIA released a ridiculous "woke" recruitment ad, which was panned by liberals and conservatives alike. Apparently these woke CIA agents will be tasked to infiltrate rogue governments and if they're not using their proper pronouns, we nuke them. Don't worry, if you're not a mentally-ill LGBT person-of-color, you can still get a job with Border Patrol.
In canine news, The Obama family dog, Bo, passed away of cancer this week. Poor little guy. I can only think of one thing to say: Thanks Obamacare.
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