Get this. While Oprah's famous interview with Harry and Meghan was airing on live TV, low-IQ-Anon folks were spreading a bizarre conspiracy theory-- that Oprah was wearing an ankle monitor. It raises a lot of questions. Mainly, what brand is it, and where can every woman in America buy one?
In California, theme parks are getting approval to reopen, with modifications. For example, at Disneyland, Donald Duck has promised to wear a face-shield to protect patrons from his tantrum spittle, the Jungle Cruise now requires signing a 43-page liability waiver, and fast passes can only be used by Governor Newsom.
In Fresh Prince news, Will Smith said in an interview that he might run for office one day. I'm not too hot on the idea. Unless... his running mate is VP Jazzy Jeff. Now you've got my vote! Mr Smith, go to Washington!
In Giuliani news, Rudy's polyamorous daughter wrote an essay for Vanity Fair, where she says having three-way sex with couples has made her a better person. Apparently Rudy is furious... that she didn't introduce him to the kinky couple. It's always a good time when you add Rudy to your lovemaking-- he brings his own lubrication!
Well, the cancel train keeps chuggin' along, and this time cartoon skunk Pepe Le Pew is under fire for perpetuating rape culture. Finally something both sides can agree on. Liberals want to cancel him for being rapey and Trumpers want to cancel him for being... French.
Bonus Story! Mark Cuban says his basketball team The Mavericks will now accept cryptocurrency as payment for tickets. Which means from day to day, Mavs tickets will cost either 1 cent or 1 billion dollars each. Oh, I'm getting an update: the entire Mavericks fanbase just said "And for those reasons, I'm out."