Majorie Taylor Greene Cheated on Husband with Polyamorous Tantric Sex Guru?

(And More POLITICS News)

Hope you had a happy President's Day! It's a day when Americans everywhere pay their respects to the country's highest office. Trump even promised not to incite any insurrections for the next 24 hours.

Trump's impeachment trial is over and, spoiler alert, he won, and America lost. One important piece of evidence was a phone call where Trump told Kevin McCarthy "I guess these people are more upset about the election than you are" and McCarthy said "Do you know who the f*ck you're talking to?" Trump replied "Isn't this Kevin McCallister from Home Alone 2?"

During impeachment, as a way to ignore the gory details of the riot being retold, several Republicans were seen doodling on paper at their desks. As it turns out, the senators were just inspired by what they were hearing about nooses and gallows, and were playing a crazy game of hangman.

This is cute. For Valentine's Day, the first lady had a lovely surprise waiting for President Biden on the North Lawn: heart-shaped signs saying "family", "kindness", "unity", and "healing". What a nice change to finally have a First Lady who knows how to Be Best.

Here's something scary. According to a new survey, 4 in 10 Republicans say political violence may be necessary. The other 6 out of 10 said it's absolutely necessary! All voting will be settled in the Octagon! "Ladies and gentlemen, after 2 arm-bars and 3 rear-naked chokes, universal background checks for firearms are the law of the land!"

Finally, several news outlets are reporting that gun nut and conspiracy theorist Marjorie Taylor Greene had cheated on her husband with a polyamorous tantric sex guru. Wow, that QAnon Shaman really gets around!