Let's Talk About Trump's Health (5 News Jokes)
Many on Twitter expressed joy at Trump's coronavirus diagnosis, which I find cruel and tasteless. I wish the president a full and speedy recovery, so that he can enjoy many, many years in federal prison.
Former New Jersey governor Chris Christie, who helped Trump prepare for the debates, is now in the hospital for Covid-19. In an abundance of caution, he's shutting down all bridges that lead directly to his lungs. He said "It sickens me that my body is a breeding ground for the lowest lifeform on Earth, but being from New Jersey, I am used to it."
Many who attended Trump's supreme court nomination ceremony became exposed to the virus. Kellyanne Conway announced on Twitter that she has tested positive... And we are still waiting to confirm if this is an alternative fact.
Supreme Court nominee, Amy Coney Barret had COVID-19 over summer and recovered, which explains why she tested negative. She said "While I've been blessed to have been granted immunity, all you Dreamers won't be so lucky!
To fight the virus, doctors have given Trump steroids. His health hasn't improved, but he's a speed demon on that Walter Reed Hospital ramp.