Kazakhstan Man Spends Christmas Alone Because His Sex Doll Broke?

(And More INTERNATIONAL News)

In the UK, a man was released from jail for riding a jetski 15 miles to see his girlfriend during lockdown. Unfortunately, when he arrived for Christmas, he found her in bed with a guy who owned an actual boat.

In Russia, after dating for five years, a woman married the love of her life-- a briefcase named Gideon. The best part? He came with the marriage certificate already inside. Wait, I'm getting an update: she's just given birth to twin handbags.

If you thought that all the inanimate object romance news I've got for ya, think again. In Kazakhstan, the bodybuilder who married his sex doll says his wife broke down and is now in the shop for repairs, forcing him to spend Christmas alone. Apparently, Kazakhstan only has one sex doll repair shop and they are just *slammed* during Christmas time. Poor guy-- I'll bet right about now he's thinking about his ex--- the blow-up doll in the attic.

Finally, in Australia, police are hunting a "man-bun wearing hipster" who keeps pooping in the same front garden. The chief of police said "This is outrageous, irresponsible behavior. And the pooping isn't cool either".