James Bond Guns Stolen? Let's Talk International News (5 News Jokes)

Also: Vietnam condoms, Pope+LGBT, Giant Gundam Mech, and a Human Satan.

TRANSCRIPT:

In Vietnam, police seized 300,000 used condoms that were being sold as new. The scammers thought they were totally covered, but it looks like there were holes in their scheme. An official said "We will not rest until these condoms are returned to their rightful owner... Charlie Sheen."

In Japan, a giant anime Gundam mech has been built in the town of Yokohama. Oh, I'm getting an update. The mech just became self-aware and destroyed the city. That's awful. Bad robot!

A man in Brazil has turned himself into a "Human Satan" by slicing off his nose, customizing his skin, eyes, and teeth, and getting horns implanted in his skull. To make matters worse, he still gets more Tinder dates than I do.

The Pope spoke to parents of LGBT kids, and said "God loves your children as they are". He continued "So it's not so bad if our priests sometimes do too."

Finally, in London, Five prop guns used in the James Bond films were stolen from a collector's home during a movie-style heist. Luckily, it's practically guaranteed the guns will resurface in Act 3. The burglar plans to sell them for a pretty moneypenny.