Dogs Deployed to Combat Through VR? Let's Talk About Animals! (5 News Jokes)

For some people, cats and dogs just aren't fun enough. In Washington state, a guy keeping Bison as pets had them escape twice now. I don't know why he's surprised. How do you expect to contain a Bison when this is their special move?

In Philadelphia, 1,500 birds were killed in a single day after flying into skyscrapers. When will these birds ever learn? Drinking and flying don't mix.

Animals can amaze and astound us. In Texas, a bull's 8.6-foot horn wingspan earned a new Guinness World Record. It brings to an end Dennis Rodman's streak as the world's horniest Bull.

VR isn't just for humans any more. The US Army is now testing augmented reality goggles for dogs, so they can be commanded remotely. These brave dogs will be sent to fight our greatest enemy-- radical islamist mailmen.

Finally, in extinct animal news, a T. Rex skeleton was sold at an auction for a record-breaking $31.8 million. We've obtained exclusive footage of the moment the buyer shared the news with his family. "You've got a T-Rex?"