Dogecoin Surges 300% After Elon Musk's Tweets

(And Other TECH News)

This is so cool. NASA's "Ingenuity" helicopter made history on Mars by performing the first powered, controlled flight on another planet. My sources say it even spotted Matt Damon! We're coming for you soon, buddy! No we're not.

More space news. Elon Musk's landed a $3B NASA contract for SpaceX to land the first woman on the Moon. Elon, if you're listening, I'd like to nominate Marjorie Taylor Greene, as long as we can use one of those SpaceX rockets that explodes every time it tries to land.

In crypt-bro-currency news, Dogecoin, which was created as a joke, has surged 300% in one week due to Elon Musk's tweets. It makes you wonder, if dogs can make a currency, can they make a bank? Oh yeah I guess that's what Barclays is.

Quick update on climate change. Researchers are working on a new way to fight global warming by cooling down the Earth with a new type of paint, the whitest shade ever created. Apparently the secret ingredient is a drop of blood from Mike Pence.

Finally, a video emerged last week showing the NYPD patrolling the street with a Boston Dynamics "Digidog". Cops trained the robo-pooch on all the important commands, like sit, stay, and shoot-the-black-guy.