Democrats Want to Pack the Supreme Court?
(And Other POLITICS News)
In White House dog news, Biden’s German Shepherd Major will be sent away for training after biting several people. It's a special obedience course that has calmed down many bad dogs called "Mailmen Lives Matter". After the training, Major hopes to return as an Admiral.
In case you missed it, Mike Pence has undergone surgery to have a pacemaker implanted. Apparently his heartbeat has been irregular ever since he watched WAP. Hearing about Pence's new pacemaker has inspired capitol rioters to come up with a new chant for their next insurrection: Scare Mike Pence! Scare Mike Pence!
In radical Democrat news, there's a new proposal to "pack" the Supreme Court with four new justices. Republicans are obviously angry about this, so Democrats said "Fine, if you don't like 13, we'll just do what hotels do and pretend the 13th justice is the 14th".
In MyPillow CEO news, Mike Lindell says his new free-speech social network will ban posts that take God's name in vain. When Donald Trump heard that he said "I can't say my own name? This site sucks!" The good news is, the site has no restrictions on D-list pillow celebrities asking where they can buy crack and mustache grooming kits.
Did you guys catch this? Ivanka Trump posted a vaccine selfie, but QAnon folks are saying it was photoshopped. Ivanka replied "That's ridiculous. I haven't used Photoshop since my modeling days."
Bonus Story! According to Harvey Weinstein's attorney, the ex- Hollywood producer is going blind, losing teeth and "falling apart" in prison. When Cosby heard that, he said "#MeToo".