Biden Twisted His Ankle Playing with Dog?

(And More POLITICS Jokes)

Let's start with the Empire State. In an "F-U" to Governor Cuomo, a New York gym owner and retired Marine named Robby Dinero tore up a $15k notice to pay a fine, on live TV. But apparently it's all part of the gym's new marketing slogan: "You and our fine notices are gonna get RIPPED!"

This is great. Roger Stone, GOP dirty trickster extraordinaire, has a new ace up his sleeve-- sabotaging Republicans in the Georgia senate runoff out of spite for not helping Trump enough. I never thought I'd say this, but "Thank you, Roger Stone." Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go wash out my mouth with soap.

In White House news, future First Lady Jill Biden says the first family may soon be getting a cat. The best part is, Joe will no longer have to leave the oval office to do his business.

In a related story, President-Elect Joe Biden recently twisted his ankle playing with his dog, whose name is Major. He wasn't hurt badly, so it both was and wasn't a major injury. But look, don't blame the dog, I'm sure it was totally innocent.

Finally, After a long, drawn-out PR battle with the Trump Administration, Biden has received his first President’s Daily Brief. Just to be sure, Biden told them "only briefs, no diapers, please."