Biden Thanked Trump For Vaccine?!

(And More POLITICS News)

In a move everyone had already predicted, Trump pardoned many of his cronies including Paul Manafort, Roger Stone and Michael Flynn. Mainly because they're the only ones left willing to play golf with him. It's now just a matter of time until he gives posthumous pardons to Hitler and Stalin. Apparently he hasn't pardoned himself because he's waiting for Kayleigh McEnany to say "Don't worry, he'd never do that."

The free world can rest a little easier now-- President-elect Joe Biden got the COVID-19 inoculation, and thanked the Trump Administration for making it happen. The best part is, QAnon believers can now track Biden's location at all times in Microsoft Outlook.

Get this-- CEO Jack Dorsey has informed Joe Biden that the official Presidential twitter account will have its followers reset to zero on inauguration day. Trump said "Cool, can we do that with the COVID death count? And my debt. And the number of Erics in our family."

Did you guys catch this? Vladimir Putin’s political rival, Alexey Navalny, tricked the Russian agent who poisoned him into revealing the secret over the phone: they put the poison in his underpants. Apparently Biden heard about it and is now refusing to read his Presidential Daily Briefs. For me, it's just nice to know that I'm poison-proof. I'm a free-baller.