AstraZeneca Vaccine Not Good Enough to See Bruce on Broadway?

(And More ENTERTAINMENT News)

Listen up, HBO Max customers: thousands of viewers, myself included, received a strange email with subject line "Integration Test #1", causing the company to issue an apology, saying "Yes, it was the intern". At first I thought "well they should fire that kid", but then I realized, I'm kind of looking forward to the Integration Test season finale. Oh I'm getting an update: they're about to punish the intern, let's cut to the live feed.

In Supermodel news, Emily Ratajkowski is being "mom shamed" by the internet over the way she held her baby in a holiday photo, which some say is "child abuse". And yet nobody is talking about how she refuses to return my DMs, which is a clear case of "Geoff abuse".

Listen up, collectors! Actress and model Cara 'Delevingne is auctioning off an NFT about her vagina. It's appropriate because NFTs are very similar to lady parts, in that I don't really have any clue how either of them work.

Finally, bad news, Bruce Springsteen fans: if you want to see the Boss on Broadway this season, you'll need to be vaccinated, and the AstraZeneca vaccine doesn't qualify. When fans complained, Bruce said "Sorry, we're only honoring vaccines that were BORN IN THE USA". When asked how many doses of the vaccine you should get, Bruce said, "1, 2, 3, 4!"