Another SpaceX Rocket Explodes

(And Other CRAZY News Stories)

Here's something cool. Scientists have found that humans have the genetic foundation to create venom in our bodies, which could give new meaning to being a "toxic person". We've obtained exclusive footage of the doctor who made the discovery.

In space exploration news, NASA has a helicopter on Mars which is preparing to land in an evaporated lake to search for signs of life. Oh I'm getting some breaking news: they've found not one, not two, but three forms of life!

SpaceX is getting closer and closer to a voyage to the Red Planet, but their most recent rocket test sadly exploded… again. I'll be honest, at this point I don't know if he actually wants to go to Mars or if Elon just likes watching things blow up.

In South Korea, a young couple accidentally vandalized a $400k painting by a local graffiti artist because they didn't know it was art. Officials are still searching... for anyone who can tell the difference.

In France, President Macron is handling a surge of coronavirus cases by setting a nationwide curfew of 7pm. When Biden heard that he immediately called up Macron and said "How do you stay up that late?" Apparently the punishment for any French person staying out past curfew is being forced to wear deodorant for a whole month.

In Australia, an Olympic athlete and his brother have been found guilty of a $152M cocaine plot. Interpol says it's the worst Australian plot since Crocodile Dundee II.

Finally, a young child inadvertently sparked confusion recently by posting an unintelligible gibberish tweet from the official account of US Strategic Command, which is in charge of US nukes. And I believe we have a photo of this kid.